I want to be the person I dream of. I want to live a life that's a shining example to people of how amazing God is. I want God to use me in any way and every way he sees fit. I want his plan for my life. I'm going to be myself in a world where people strive to fit in. I don't want to fit in. I was born to stand out! I want to help people. I want to encourage people. I want to listen to people. I want to be the hand they can grab on to when they feel like they are falling. I am a child of God. I am special. I am loved. So are you. I'm Apostolic Pentecostal, and proud to be a Child of God! I'm 19,and I have no idea what career I'd like to go in. I really want to focus on my walk with God at the moment, so I'm just a confused girl. I have insecurities. I have fears. But I have a God bigger than all that. You should remember that as you read my page. GOD IS AWESOME, AND SO ARE YOU!
A little-known fact about me: I read all the time. Books were the only thing that got me out of Gatlin, even if it was only for a little while. I had a map on my wall, and every time I read about a place I wanted to go, I marked it on the map. New York was Catcher in the Rye. Into the Wild got me to Alaska. When I read On the Road, I added Chicago, Denver, L.A., and Mexico City. Kerouac could get you pretty much everywhere. Every few months, I drew a line to connect the marks. A thin green line I’d follow on a road trip, the summer before college, if I ever got out of this town.
Loved him in the book and the movie. Now…I really have to get a big map and mark all the places I read that I want to go..:)
A Journey: Starting Now.
Proverbs 3: 5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.” I’ve wrote about this scripture before, and I’ve stated that I understood so much better. But, I don’t think I did. Because now, I can truly say that I understand it fully and that it applies to my life. I have these moments in life where I start thinking about the “what ifs,” in life, and I start getting really stressed out. Lately, it’s been about my future, and my career choice. With that, its also about relationships, and friendships, of which I don’t have many. It’s been about my mom, and my dad and how I wish so bad that they would come to church. I get upset. I get really upset when I really stop and think about it. But, that’s the devils business, and I want no part in it. Sadly, this is one of the first times I’ve really prayed, and asked God to please lead me in this decision of my career and my life. I was confused, and I didn’t know what I should do. My thoughts were on what people would think if after 3 years of going back and forth wanting to be a teacher, if I totally change my major, It wouldn’t be good. So, I prayed. I didn’t tell anybody about it, I turned in special requests at church, and I prayed each night that God would lead me. The more I thought about teaching, the more I knew, that’s not me. It won’t ever be me. At least, not in a middle school or elementary classroom. So, I researched options of a Human Services: Child Development major, and there are so many more options available than just being a teacher. One lady, who was in my position, went to college for 3 years to be a teacher. She took classes, and got to be in a classroom, and she realized it wasn’t for her. She went to her advisor and talked about the Child development major, and she is now a headstart director, and she does some other things as well. But, I realize, I want to work with kids, just not middle school or elementary. It was MY thoughts that said, “I just don’t think I can handle working with little ones.” But, that is my calling. I see that now as kids come up to me at church and give me a big hug. When kids say, “I love you Sis. Casey!” I’m meant to be with kids, and even just as I’m writing this….I’m getting excited..because I know God has his hand in this..and I’m just amazed at his love. He really is directing my path, and my thoughts. I don’t need to think about negatives anymore. I never needed to think about the negatives, I needed to REALLY think about God and where he wants me. You know, in our minds, sometimes we want so bad for God to lead us, but have we really prayed for that? That is where I was at. But, I made up my mind and my decision is to follow God, no matter what happens in life. He is the one person who will never, ever let go of me. People will fade away, friends will fade away, I may not have a relationship with a guy for a long time right now, but my first love is God, so I have nothing to worry about. He’s got me, and I’m ready for this adventure!
And, it really is the little things that give my life meaning. Love this puppy in the picture!:)
Why can’t things be different…
Forever, Kari Jobe
One of the most powerful songs I’ve ever heard.
Buying books is immensely comforting. Maybe I won’t read them immediately, but they make me feel so much better whenever I’m sad and blue. Just their presence, it’s like having more to look forward to.
Unknown (via the-healing-nest)