You Are Loved. .

My Grandpa had to go to the hospital over the weekend for his heart. They thought they were just going to be a pacemaker in, but today we got more bad news. He has to have quadruple bypass surgery, and then dialysis for his kidney’s. They aren’t going to do it tomorrow, they are going to wait and do it Wednesday. Please Please pray for him. I know God can take care of it, I just wanted to request prayer if you are a prayer warrior!

Thank you!

Is there anybody currently in a Pentecostal Bible college? Such as, Indiana Bible College, Gateway College of Evangelism, or Texas Bible College? Can you tell me your experiences, or what you’re thoughts are toward them?

Lately, my mind is been a jumbled, I’m not going to say mess, because I know what I’m thinking, and it’s all pretty positive, just a lot to think about!

So, on one hand, church has been wonderful. After the service I talked about on here, I’ve been thinking a lot, and I’ve just really thought more on how, I don’t want anything else in this world but God. For a long time, I’ve been stuck on this one guy, and lately he’s just been in the back of my mind..I’ve stopped thinking about him in a way, of feelings for him, there slowly just going away. And that’s a very good thing for me, because we have two different thought processes, and we’re different. He’s got this thought process on kind of, other girls, friends that he’s around, and the way he talks, it’s just different, and he’s changing, and I hate that. Because I feel like he could get so much more in life, so hopefully that will change for him. But, my thought continually has been, in order for me to even have any sort of love relationship, I have to be content with me. I have to be content with myself, and my relationship with God. Because only then will I be able to love someone else, and let someone else love me. So, I’m content, and i’m working on my relationship with God! It’s great. 

Also, my Mom came to church this past Sunday night, she surprised me! She prayed and sought after God, and it was just so amazing. Hopefully, and I KNOW she will receive the Holy Ghost pretty soon:) I also got to pray with a young girl, she’s about 13, she’s had a rough life. She’s gone through a lot of things, and I know she gets picked on at school. She’s been very kind of in the background, she puts on the touch front. She says she hates church, yet she still comes. But Sunday night, she prayed, and cried, and I prayed with her, along with others, but you could just see the desperation on her face, and it just hit me. I told her afterwards, that I am always here when she needs someone to talk to. She will be in my prayers, very specially because I feel like she needs God in her life, and I pray that she can trust with everything she’s got!

College update:

I have decided on Middle School Education, English teacher, with a minor in Social Studies. I will be finishing up my basics this next semester. But, I have really felt strongly about Bible College for a long time. So, before I start on finishing up my major choice, I am going to try to go. So, I compared a few, and the prices, and what they offer, and I will be in the process saving up some money, and hopefully I may be able to get some of the scholarships they offer. But, it’s not too much, so if I have to take out a loan and pay it back over the years. My goal is to maybe try to start this next year, if not spring semester, then the fall. But, it’s a definite that I will be TRYING to do it!! I want more of God!! I want to expand, I want to get out, and I want to gain friendships, and more knowledge on what God wants me to be.

:)

Also, feel free to message me!! I would love to help or just talk. If you want me to write about something, I WOULD LOVE TO! Please, inbox me! Love you all, thank you so much for following me!!

I have to update you guys on my weekend. I’ve been really sick, with this crazy cough and I can’t seem to get over it, but I’m starting to feel better now, so hopefully it’s going away. But, last night I went to church with my Grandma and some friends about 40 minutes from where we live.

The service was AMAZING. The presence of God was so strong in that building. Young people were worshiping God, dancing, running, jumping, shouting, it was amazing. It’s the most amazing feeling in the whole entire world. There is nothing, and I promise you, NOTHING that could be better than this. I’m positive.

The guy leading the service was talking and I can’t even remember what he was talking about at that moment, because we had just been singing and talking about just worshiping God and how he can bring you out of anything. 

All the sudden, as it was really crowded in the front, and everybody was gathered around praying, a girl, she looked about 14 or 15, she ran through, pushing people out of the way, jumped up on the platform, grab the preacher’s hand and pushed it to her forehead for him to pray for her, people ran to the front, surrounding her and you could see, in just a matter of minutes, the Holy Ghost fell on her! And it hit the whole building! She spoke in other tongues, and people continued to pray. I mean, WOW.

I had never witnessed that happening before. I can’t get it out of my head. That girl, she was so hungry for change, so hungry for her life to be different, I have no idea what her story is. I have no idea what she’s going through, but she decided, enough is enough and she wanted out of it. She needed God and she was going to get him! I just, I mean, speechless.

How would our lives be if we woke up each day in that thought process? If we were so hungry for God every day we woke up, instead of facebook, and stuff. So hungry for God, who cares if we need to skip a meal and pray, IT’S GOD! So hungry for God, we forget about our little issues, and trying to fit in with our friends, GOD is bigger than all that. God is here for us. We have to get hungry. 

Nothing will change, if we don’t get hungry. Our community, our friends, our family will not be won to God, if we don’t get hungry!

I want to share my thoughts about everything that has gone on this week with the Boston Marathon Shooting. Before I even start, I want to say, I am not saying this in any rude manor, nor do I have the mindset, “I am right and you are wrong.” I just feel very strongly this way, but I would love to hear other opinions, please don’t be rude, but I would love to hear other thoughts.

I have this thought in my head, that a person is a person, no matter what. We are all human beings, we all live on earth, we all breathe, we all have a great big God that sees us, no matter if you believe in him or not. No person, not one person should deserve to be killed on this earth. Nobody has the right to kill anybody. 

With that said, innocent lives were taken and injured critically, at the Boston Marathon Bombing. It makes me horribly sick thinking about it, and I watched the news this morning, and it made me even more sick. The two suspects were brothers, 26 and 19 years old. They were seen walking down the sidewalk, casually as if they did not just plant bombs to kill innocent lives. Were they thinking of those people? No probably not. Were they thinking of how wrong it is? I think, that somewhere in their mind at least one of them was feeling a tinge of guilt. The oldest one died in a gun fight with policemen after they shot and killed a police officer, but the 19 year old escaped. All that was said of the classmates who graduated with the 19 year old was positive. He was funny, he was a good guy, he was nice to be around. They never once thought that this could happen. They knew he went to college, but not sure where. What happened to him in that year, we may never know, but I believe either something went wrong to mess up his thinking, or someone encouraged him or threatened him into participating in this horrendous act.

I looked at the picture, of this 19 year old boy, and I thought, he would have had such a life ahead of him, Why did he do this? Right now, he is in critical condition, they captured him, but he has injuries. 19 years old. In my opinion I really just don’t see how he could have come up with this himself, no I’m not an expert on their country, but I know he was in America for at least 10 years, and he was a good student in High School. Yes, I’m aware he could have said “I’m not doing this.” But, how do we know that someone had a major threat against  him? How do we know that there isn’t more to the story? The news doesn’t get everything. Please know that I’m not at all saying that it was totally okay that those killed and hurt people in that big group. A bomb, that is extremely serious, extremely. But, my thoughts are this:

I keep going back to thinking, I know beyond a shadow of the doubt, God had nothing to do with them harming those people, killing, injuring loved ones. Did he want that to happen? NO. But, just like God didn’t want innocent people hurt….do you think he wants those two killed for their crime? I mean, think about it, really. If someone was to say that, yes, I think God would think they deserve death, that’s like saying that every person in the world who sins, and fall short of the glory of God, and messes up, and really hurts people deserve to die. God wants everyone to have the chance. I’m aware that in Bible days, they stoned people for sinning, and all, but I just can’t wrap my head around the thought that just like God didn’t want those innocent people harmed, I don’t believe he would want these guys dead either, although one is already, because of the gunfire. 

I know they caused harm, I know they did it on purpose, I know that. But, everyone needs a chance. Yes, I do believe they should be punished. I think if the 19 year old lives through his condition, he should be in prison, he should be locked up. He was in a plan that killed and hurt innocent people, no matter what background he has, he will think about that while in there. He’s already thinking about it now. It will haunt him for the rest of his life. His brother is dead, that will haunt him for the rest of his life. He deserves punishment, but not death, in my opinion. Once again, no those people did not deserve what happened in that bombing. They are innocent, and did nothing. Just like you and me, but think about it. What do  you think God would really say about this? What would he do? Would he sentence them to death? I don’t believe so.

I know it’s a tough subject, and it still makes me sick thinking about it. I also know some kids died and were injured, and that’s a horrifying picture for me as well. I think he should suffer, not die. There was a reason he did this, we need to know that reason. But that is all in God’s hands now.

Feel free to share your opinion with me and your thoughts, please not rudely, but share. I’d love to talk and see what people say about this.

Two of my very good friends right now are having some very big problems arise in their life. So, I was curious and opened up the Bible App, and looked at the plan, “Finding Strength in Depression.” Here’s the start of it:

Pray: God, connect with me here, as I seek you in your Word. Begin with focus and openness to see what God has for you.

Read: The scripture slowly. Take notes.

Reflect: On what strikes you. Think through how God is communicating.

Respond: Speak to God directly about what’s in your mind and heart.

Psalm 42:5-“Why, my soul, are you downcast? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Savior and my God.”

Psalm 4:1-“Answer me when I call you, my righteous God. Give me relief from my distress; have mercy on me and hear my prayer.”

Psalm 34: 17-19-”The righteous cry out, and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles. The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit. The righteous person may have troubles, but the Lord delivers him from them all.” (This verse, is one of my favorites. It’s just amazing to me, to think about how God really hears us. There is a great big God who knows all our thoughts, he knows what we’re going through, he just wants us to reach out to him. Once you say his name, once you reach for him, he will come to you. He’s waiting on us to make that effort. He doesn’t want you to hurt. He wants to give you rest. Give him that chance.)

Psalm 30:5-“For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”

John 14: 27-27-“But the comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance  whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” ( Also one of my favorites. He will give you peace. He leaves peace with you. There is no reason to be troubled, or afraid because whether you really know it or believe it, you have God watching over you. He sees every step you take. He’s got you. That amazes me, just amazes me.)

Isaiah 41:10- “Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yea, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness.”

Isaiah 41:13-“For I the Lord thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee.” (This one and the one of above I also love. Picture God reaching down, and grabbing your hand when you are hurting. When you are sitting in that corner, crouched down, hurt, tears pouring, imagine him lifting  up your head, and telling you that you don’t have to fear, he’s with you. Imagine it, It’s such a strong image to me. I just can’t get enough of God’s love.)

Romans 15:4-“For everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through the endurance taught in the scriptures and the encouragement they provide, we might have hope.”

Romans 15:13-“Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing  that ye may abound in hope, through the power of the Holy Ghost.”

So many times we have pain in our life. Sometimes we feel as though that’s all we have. We get rough patches,we hit the hills and we can’t get over them. But look up, look around you because God loves you. He loves you so much. He wants to take that pain away from us, he wants us to be free. Let God. “Let Go, and Let God.”

I haven’t updated in a long time. I’m sorry, I’ve just gotten busy and living life and all that jazz. I’ve wanted to update, but I just wasn’t exactly sure what to say. I have too many thoughts running through my mind!

School and Future:

I’ve decided for this semester, to go ahead and finished my basics, and then maybe I’ll figure out what I want to do. I still want to go on the Missions trip, and take those classes, I just don’t think right now is good. I will know if God pulls me back towards there. I do feel a strong burden for it, so it will be in my future somewhere. I also think that God will help me figure out what I want to do as a career, I just have to help in taking steps towards it, so that’s on my mind a lot too.

Church:

Church is wonderful. It’s the best part of my life by far. God is so amazing, I can’t even begin to say all the amazing things he’s doing. I know as a personal journey though, I’ve slacked lately. I haven’t prayed like I should and I get caught up in school and in free time, I don’t pray, I do other things, and I shouldn’t. My goal is to fast and pray this week at least 2 times. If I want things to happen in my life, I have to make an effort, and with God by my side, I WILL! I can do this.

Our pastor told us to write down one person tonight who we will focus on for the rest of the year, to win them to God. I have my person in mind, and I’ve thought about it for a while, and I know God is not done with our situation yet. We didn’t come into each other’s lives just to leave when we have to grow up. I know God has another plan in mind, I feel it. So, that will be the person I focus on. 

Home Life:

Me and my dad still aren’t on the best page. He goes out every night, and he talked to be a little while ago about how people want to use him and all this stuff. I think my dad has very low self esteem, the way he talks about himself. So, I’m doing my best to pray and TRY to have a good attitude, which is really hard most of the time. But, God’s got this. 

I have decided I am going to spend the night with my grandma, maybe a couple of nights, just to see how it works out, and maybe he’ll realize some things. I really would just like a fresh place to start over. Even if it’s in my grandma’s upstairs. lol. There’s a bathroom, a bedroom, a living room and an extra room up there, and I know I would be comfortable. So, I stayed there Friday night and saturday night, so I’m going to for a few nights coming up too. 

God has my life in his hands, and he has the people around me in his hands. He knows what’s best for me. I’m so thankful I have someone to talk to and I know he will always be there, no matter what. My job is to talk to him more, he desires a relationship with me, as I do with him. 

Hope you guys have a great Sunday! I’d love to catch up with you, shoot me a message!